But It Doesn't Go Away
by NinjagoZ
Summary: Warning: minor character death! When a routine fire rescue goes wrong, Zane has to learn a lesson on life that will change him forever, but will his guilt of watching a brave young girl die to save a pair of twins crush the white ninja? Or will he find a way to become whole again? "I'll be honest with you, Kai... It gets better, but it doesn't go away- it never will."
1. Chapter 1

**A Ninjago twoshot.**

**Warnings: Character death, not anything gory or significantly disgusting. Just a simple death.**

Zane's eyes seemed to fill with the smoke he glimpsed as he caught sight of four burning buildings. The ninja all knew what was happening, and they needed no verbal exchange to know that they had to evacuate. Cole was ready with the orders.

Cole commands, "I'll take north, Kai will take south, Jay needs to help the eastern folks, and Zane can take the west!"

The three ninja addressed by their leader chorused, "Okay!"

they make their separate turns or stop, in Jay's consideration. However, this is not a story about Jay's lesson. This story was poised to portray Zane's learning. This was a routine rescue with an ending not fitting in with the usual outcome. As Zane raced forward, he knew nothing of the fate that would change him forever.

The white ninja flew past the firemen, and they didn't try to stop him, for they were familiar with the ninja going into a fire. He closes his eyes, racing through the doorway. Heat rushed around him, the flames sweltering, making the seven story building almost unbearably hot for a human. The nindroid had nothing to be concerned about. He was more than human, superior and far stronger than an average man. Nothing can hurt him except being crushed.

He shouts, "Is anyone in here?!"

"Help us!" a teenage girl was screaming from the second story, and he could hear two young children screaming.

Pushing up the stairs like a mountain lion climbs a rock, Zane hurtles at full sprint towards a room with innocents in there. He knocks a snapped support beam aside to reach the room, building shuddering like a cold person would. The door was shut and jammed, and the ninja of ice knew he could not stop the flames. His powers weren't going to be enough. He smashes the door open. Heat caused his hands to be slippery, and he growls as he realized he was sweating.

Managing to grab the children, he hoists them onto his shoulders, and leads the teenage girl out. They were all obviously related, all three had the same brown shade of hair and almost identical grey eyes. The teen might be the sister, or possibly the mother. He sets them down in the entrance, and shoos them.

"Go! Get to the firemen, and stay away from the building!" Zane commands as he gets ready to leave.

The teen sobs, "I... Good luck!"

Taking her two youths in hand, she leads them away from the building with fear in her heart. Zane rushes up the stairs, taking a door off it's hinges when he needs to get to the other side. It was getting hotter, every minute becoming precious to save as many lives as possible. So Zane decides to get destructive to help. As soon as he teaches a door, he smashes it open, and saves three men and two women, all of which were, once again, a family.

He shows them the way down. Zane leaves them to find more citizens. When they got outside, they could tell there was only a short amount of time left. People, innocent men and women, teens and children, elderly and adult alike rushing out. Zane was soon finished with the final story, rushing down the staircase. All of the staff had been on ground level.

There was only one thing that made this mission different at this point. Zane didn't know that there was a pair of boys on the bottom floor in the kitchen... The children of the owner. This apartment building, as Zane assumed it was, was coming down under his feet as he literally fell out the entrance. He pulls himself to his feet, going straight to the owner.

Zane asks, "Is everyone out?"

"Ummm..." Joshua, the owner mutters uncertainly.

Zane snaps, "Is that everyone?!"

A young woman with bright red hair and green/brown eyes is screaming. She looks around. This is the owner's thirty four year old wife, Hazel. She tried to race to the entrance, and Zane moves to her.

Hazel screeches, "My sons! MY SONS ARE IN THE KITCHEN STILL!"

Zane wastes time simply turning around, and catches a glimpse of a girl of about twelve or thirteen years going back into the building. He didn't know she had gone in until he saw her brown hair, long and straight, disappear into the smoke. The ninja panicked at that point; he bolted to the entrance even though he knew there was nothing he could do. Unsure where the kitchen was, he simply moved around the many hallways, finding his way back to the entrance.

The twins were siamese, identical. Both had red hair and brown eyes, and even the same terrified expression. They even had the same hair. However, the girl who went in after them was nowhere to be found...

Zane gasps, "Where's the girl?"

"She fell! She told us to run!" the first one says.

The second one adds, "The girl didn't make it back. A big support beam fell on her, and we couldn't lift it. She told us to escape... Then she didn't move..."

Zane nearly screams at that point, and points them to the exit, the duo running out there. The nindroid walks to the kitchen area, which was down the hall the boys came out of. He just walks. There was no more urgency. There was no more will to live knowing an innocent died for his mistake. His mind was in a whirl. He was helpless to save her.

He kneels, seeing the girl trapped under a few large poles. They were heavy steel, and it was no wonder the twins were unable to save her. The girl's blue eyes were dazed, her mop of brown hair slick with sweat. She was dying. She wasn't dead yet. Zane wished he could say that he could save her, but from the blood on the floor, he was long past when he could have brought her to a medic and had a chance in hell that he would save her life.

She was too strong to stop breathing.

She was too weak to save herself.

She was too stubborn to give up so soon.

Zane knew she was a dead person already.

She coughs, "W-who's there...?"

"The ninja of ice." Zane murmurs.

The girl smiles and laughs, pain being an unwelcome intruder in her world, "You're my idol... You must have come to save me..."

"... Yeah... What's your name, beautiful child?" Zane manages through a tight throat.

"Belle."

Zane asks, "As is 'belle of the ball', right? Beautiful?"

"I was always called beautiful... I didn't want beauty." Belle whispers hoarsely.

Zane wonders, "Then what do you want?"

"To... To be a," Belle explains, rasping, "To be a hero..."

Zane feels a sharp pang in his chest. He knows this conversation distracts he from the pain, but he couldn't help but sob silently. She got her wish at the expense of her life. It was a terrible price to pay for a good deed... At least she got her wish.

Zane praises, "You are a hero..."

"No I'm not... I didn't do anything... Belle mumbles.

Zane explains, "You saved those twin boys at your expense. Only a true hero would do that."

"I'm not a hero..." Belle argues.

Zane suddenly breaks, yelling, "You listen to me! You are a **_true__ hero_**! You deceive only yourself! You are more a hero than I ever was..."

Belle whispers, "Do you mean it? Are you serious?"

"Yes... I'm completely serious. You," Zane confesses, "Just became my hero..."

Belle pinches her arm, whispering, "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

"No. You are wide awake."

Belle laughs, "Oh, the cruelty..."

"Of... Of what?" Zane asks, alarmed.

Belle smiles, starting to fall into death. She is completely numb, so she has not felt any pain. She would go into her endless sleep with silence, in the loving arms of her idol and hero, Zane Julien... That was proof enough that she had done something to become a hero, as he said she was...

Then she began to cry. Belle sobs, "This means I won't be having a daughter or a son when I get older... I won't have a husband! I'll never publish my graphic novel or write my book! I'll never grow up..."

Zane finally leans into her. He knows very well that most girls dream of getting a kiss from their hero or their crush, and she was brave. He kisses her cheek, just to make her happy, then when she calms, readies her for her death.

She whispers, "Thank you... For making me feel like I counted... For letting me be worth something..."

A sigh shudders through her, and her eyes fall shut. The last heartbeat is gone. She has breathed her last breath for the rest of eternity... She is gone. Nothing could have made Zane unsee this. Not even making his memory switch turn off. He would harbor this lesson forever. Zane fell beneath the surface of grief. He did not come out of the building, even after the fire was put out.


	2. Chapter 2

The ninja walked over to the building Zane had been working with. All were clueless to the empty shell they would soon discover. They approached one of the stunned reporters, then gazed at the entrance to the building. Kai was first to notice the missing piece.

Kai asks, "Where's Zane?"

One of the reporters answers, "He went inside after a young girl and twin brothers. Zane and the girl never came out of the building."

Jay tentatively asks, "That's not good... Why hasn't he come out?"

"Ask the twins or go check yourself." Hazel shrugs, just happy to see her boys.

Kai felt his heart beating in his throat. He knew that something bad had happened as soon the reporter had said Zane and a girl never left the building. One of them was dead, at the minimum loss. He pushes his way over to the Siamese twins.

Kai chokes out, "W... Where is he? Where is Zane?"

"In the kitchen, I think..." the first one begins.

The second finishes, "At least, what's LEFT of the kitchen."

Kai dashes into the a broken building, suppressing a cry of relief when he sees Zane standing up. What he didn't expect was the tragic scene when he came closer to his pale friend in white. A youth broken at Zane's feet. Zane has tears streaming down his face. It was a scene you'd find in a horror movie.

Kai silently stares as Zane closes her eyes. From the amount of blood dried, she had been dying when Zane found her. Zane's gaze was frightening- all the light he had seen this morning had vanished, replaced by haunted shadows. He stares at Kai, who can feel the hurt flowing through him. That was a painful experience, and Zane could never forget what happened. A single tear slides down his face.

"I couldn't help her..." Zane's voice was cracked from his tears.

Kai hesitantly asks, "Z... Zane, you... Okay?"

"I couldn't save her, Kai, she was already dying." Zane was quivering with regret.

Kai walks over and looks at the girl. Zane must have been hurting, watch this person die in his arms. He just wasn't himself any more. The red ninja winces when he notices Zane's touch was trembling as he touches Kai's shoulder.

Kai adds, "I bet you made her more comfortable."

"I hope so..."

"Zane... It wasn't your fault."

Zane suddenly Kai whips around, eyes smoldering with a burning hatred for himself. He almost screams at the red ninja in fury. It WAS his fault! She died because he messed up before he could help the twins!

Zane snaps, "It's my fault! I know it is!"

"Zane," Kai insists, "There was nothing you could have done to save her. She made her choice."

Zane sits down beside the body, and curls up into a ball. Kai knew Zane had no intentions of moving from this spot voluntarily, and left with a sigh. The others were looking at Kai in fear when he emerges without Zane. He looks at them with a lot of frustration.

Kai mumbles, "He's not coming out."

"W-why?!" Cole demands.

Kai explains, "Somebody got killed, and Zane blames himself, naturally. He hasn't left the room at all."

"We'll... We'll get him on his feet sooner or later..." Jay insists.

Kai bites his lip, sighing, "If only it were that easy..."

That day was part of their history forever. It had given Zane a wake up call to the mortality of a normal human, that they could never do what he and the ninja did. That is, unless you were willing to risk it all for passion...

* * *

**Kai's POV**

* * *

Today marked a year after that event, and Zane was still shaken. We still had to look at him sometimes, and just wonder what was going through his head; was he still blaming himself? He was getting better, and he didn't cry himself to sleep any more. It was hard to think that he was still broken inside his heart... His slow recovery helped us get over the fact that he could be hurt like this.

There was no way to guarantee that he wasn't going to slide back down. Occasionally, some things we did would set him off... When I was practicing, and I lit a fire from my blade, Zane would be seemingly paralyzed. He didn't cook any more, unless it didn't involve turning the oven or stove on. He wouldn't participate in anything involving fire, and rightfully so! He was still healing inwardly.

Tonight, Zane was sitting on the railing. He was looking up at the stars, which was definitely not helping him get better from this... The girl had been an astrology nut. Belle Jasper was also a very much loved person, protecting her friends in a fight or doing the right thing.

"You're gonna get a cold, Zane." I chide.

Zane snorts, "Nindroids don't get sick very easily."

"... Zane," I worriedly argue, "You can't do this forever. It should've gone away by now."

Zane asks, "What should have gone away?"

"These feelings of regret!" I cry as I slam my foot into the ground.

Zane quietly says, thick with remorse, "I'll be honest with you, Kai... It gets better, but it doesn't go away- it never will."

It felt like there was a boa constrictor around my throat. We had not seen the light come into his eyes yet, and I knew that it would be a long time before I'd see that cheery glow again. All I could do was nod, and sit on the rail with him. We watched the skies.

"It gets better." Zane quietly promised me, offering assurance.

I recite, "But it doesn't go away?"

"No... But it gets better." Zane repeats.

Then I saw a light in his eyes, small and subtle. That's when I knew there was hope. That just because he was hurting doesn't mean he gave up on himself. For the first time, he smiled and meant it. Zane echoes with a small, slight smile.

"It gets better."


End file.
